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I have a son who is 3 years old.

My son’s father, Max Wagner, is in his mid-40’s years old.

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Max Wagner is a lifelong substance abuser:

in a recent 30-day period of time, he transferred over $1,500 to his

drug dealer via Venmo banking. Click these words to learn more.    

      

Max has taken on the role of a textbook physical & emotional abuser

toward me since I’ve known him.  His behavior only became worse

after our son, Haven, was born.  

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Behind closed doors, Max has habitually displayed

dangerously neglectful treatment of our son.

Over time, he's proven to be completely absent a parent’s natural 

empathy, interest, care and support.

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Max neglects Haven's needs

 The lifelong argument between Max & I about Haven's intake of water

When there are no other adults around, Max regularly acts

careless, unreasonably lazy, irrational, helpless, incapable,

and ignorant in his responsibilities for our son.  He puts effort and 

energy into really weird things instead, and with enthusiasm, too.  

For example, Max usually would rather yell at me about why Haven

doesn't need water on any given day instead of allow me to peacefully

get our son water when he doesn't have any.  Max doesn't get mad because

I had to remind him - again - that our little boy is a human, and all humans

need water, especially little boys, and it's an excellent habit for your child

to regularly drink water.  

 

Before Haven could lift his head independently, Max was propping bottles

up to feed him so that he could use 2 hands for whatever he was doing

on his cell phone.

Obviously, when Haven was younger,

he was more at risk of harm

because he was unable to speak

in a way that others could understand.

Since we human adults have finally begun to understand Haven's language,

I've noticed that Max still acts

careless and ignorant, etc.

but what happens, or doesn't happen, seems to be less shocking

as far as the potential for harm to Haven goes. 

For example:

since Haven can hold his own cups,

Max no longer leaves him helpless

in a reclined position

with a bottle propped up and pointed down

into Haven's mouth, where

if he doesn't gulp down the non-stop

flow of liquid quickly enough,

Haven faces the consequence of choking 

and the experience of drowning
until Max notices and removes the bottle

from his helpless, choking and drowning son's mouth

and when Haven is done

choking and drowning and coughing,

Max puts him back down

and props the bottle back up,

that way Max can use two hands

while he does very important things on his cell phone.

I know this regularly happened,  even though I wasn't allowed

to be in young Haven's life for a large part of his first year here.

(It was Max's punishment of me for not having sex with him.)

I know this because when I did see Haven, and when I held

him to feed him, instead of being relaxed and comforted,

he tensed up, his face cringing, his hands and feet balled up

and brought in close to his body

He panicked and took down the liquid as quickly as he could.

I had to soothe him and coax him to calm

to relax and assure him over and over that he was safe

I wasn't going to let him drown

I would hold him and watch over him fondly while

he filled his hungry baby tummy

I wasn't going to be on a phone

or looking at any screen

or any thing but him.

This is just one unthinkable example of how Haven has been

treated by Max behind closed doors, and it's entirely true. 

There are other examples as well.  That's enough for now, though.  

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Max leaves Haven alone with other incapable creatures

     *Click heading for pics*  Need to Add More pictures

       

The last time I spent a sizeable number of hours

away from Haven by my own choice was on

December 23. 

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I went to my apartment. 

I hadn't been there in almost 2 months.

I had my own place ($1,200/month rent),

even though I spent most of my time with Haven

at Max's Section 8-leased apartment ($15/month rent).

 

While I was there, Max changed the lock on his front door

& put all my personal belongings, including things I'd given Haven,

outside in the winter weather.

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He recruited his drug dealer, Gretchen Green,

to be physically present at the apartment while Max

left to meet someone for a "date."  Max never returned that night. 

Texts and calls to him from myself and his drug dealer, Gretchen Green, weren't responded to.

His drug dealer left the apartment with our son around 2am.

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Indifference to Haven's emotional well-being

Even though Haven has been around nearly 4 years,

Max has remained indifferent to

Haven's emotional needs.

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Complete lack of empathy

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I've watched Max while his life was filled

with the warmth, innocence, and resilient, unconditional love of our son.

Haven has always been starry-eyed in his adoration for his father. 

I don't think I've ever seen Haven more contentedly happy

than when he's felt his father's complete attention and approval. 

Add link to video: Look daddy loves to tickle me

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Any small, non-negative comment from Max to Haven

is considered closely by Haven.

All that Haven hears Max say affects Haven's future decisions;

he is always looking to earn more approval

& feel more secure in his bond to his daddy.

Haven remembers his dad's preferences and caters to them;

Max's favorite TV shows are Haven's viewing choices, when Max is around.  

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There were some days that Haven

suddenly became disinterested in

plans to visit a playground

because Max wanted to nod off 

in the bathroom or in front of the TV

instead of join us.

Haven and I, when allowed our relationship,

spent over 9 hours in each other's direct company,

nearly every day,

without any other persons distracting us from that closeness.

So it didn't make me jealous that

Haven usually preferred to spend time with his dad

when his dad was actually around. 

 

However, I've strongly empathized with Haven in his disappointment

at his father's failure to reciprocate Haven's clearly-expressed needs on any level. 

Max has not once returned to Haven's company

with an interest in what Haven had experienced that day.

Max has not once made plans that were centered

around Haven's happiness, he's never

asked if there was anything he wanted to do together in order to make up for their time apart.

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Haven would follow Max anywhere,

despite past disappointments,

in his resilient hope for something he shouldn't have ever had to hope for;

Haven has spent his entire life desperately trying to earn his father's love.

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I've not once seen Max 

offer our son any true affection, act concerned, act

like he gave a f**k at all about our son's day, his daily life,

his future.  

Max has never expressed worry or concern over Haven

during stressful times and has never acted as

though felt anything similar. 

Max separates himself from Haven's company 7 days a week

and doesn't tell me where he goes or what he does. 

Will leave him and not come back until the next evening,

when he was supposed to be there for Haven

the evening 24 hours prior. 

Max subtly avoids Haven behind closed doors,

and I’ve witnessed odd, tic-like behaviors in

his private avoidance of any physical contact with our child,

despite our son being well-behaved, bright,

very good-looking, eager-to-please, and

completely enamored with his daddy, Max.  

Eye contact is sparsely given,

conversation non-existent,

with Max keeping his words and responsive sounds

to a bare bones minimum.

 

He's always insisted Haven is "fine" if Haven isn't crying, no matter what else is happening.  

 

Overnight disappearances 3x's/week or more

I wonder if anyone knows that Max leaves here without telling me he’s leaving most nights of the week.

Does anyone but me care about what will happen to Haven if I’m not here those nights that Max wants to leave?

Max will leave any time from 6:30pm onward, and is usually back between 200am and 730am, usually between 330am and 530am.

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Max used baby monitor as a baby sitter

I don’t think Max is going to cease his habit just because Haven doesn’t have anyone to watch him.

When Max first moved in here, he showed me a higher end baby monitor with microphone/speaker with

live audio and video feed. He told me that the monitor had a 2 mile-radius where his

walkie talkie receiver was able to receive. I asked him what he would do if something happened to Haven

while he was 2 miles away. He told me he would drive very fast, and reminded me that there was a microphone

on his end, too, so he could talk to Haven that way while he sped back to the apartment.

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Potty training Haven

Max refuses to clean or maintain cleanliness of

Haven’s potty chairs & the area around them. I am the only one

who does this. I don’t know why Max refuses to clean or maintain cleanliness of Haven’s potty chairs

or the area around them.

Max will let the potty chair overflow with urine,

he’ll throw paper towels over it (if there are any),

and he’ll leave the paper towels on the floor in the pee

until I pick them up, because I am a partially sane person.

I've seen him sit within 2 feet or less of Haven poo for at least

5 hours, staring at his cell phone, eating food, acting like

he wasn't basically becoming a big terd because of the amount of

fecal matter he ingested and inhaled with his oxygen

during that time.  I don't know why he didn't just pick it up with

toilet paper and put it in the toilet instead of becoming it. 

It's happened dozens of times. 

 

Cleaning up after his son's bathroom messes must be the most offensive thing to Max that could ever

be offensive.  He gets violently angry - the times I've been sick and he's 

had to clean up Haven's bathroom, he's gotten so angry at me for

the fact he had to clean his son's urine that

he assaulted me while I laid there, too sick to lift my head.  I have 

this particular episode audio recorded - I think I even typed a 

transcript of it because it is so ridiculous.  He just starts throwing

things and stomping around and then out of nowhere starts...you 

know.  He gets really creepy and starts telling things to Haven like

mommy used to have her life together but now she just lays there

why is mommy so lazy.  I am telling you.  There is something twisted

in this guy, there is something seriously wrong with him, he should 

not be alone with our son.   It's insane because he became violent 

towards a bed-ridden person because he felt insulted at having to

clean up after his son.  But he didn't stop there...it's like something

snaps in his head, or in him somewhere and it makes his head stop working in a vital part that regulates

sanity, and until it snaps back together, he is crazy town pants in a sinister, evil way. 

Look at the pictures of his face, that's what I'm talking about. 

 

He is the

reason Haven isn't fully potty trained yet - first of all, I had Haven

fully potty trained when he was 2 years old.  Then Max took him

and put

him back in diapers because he was too lazy to work with him

and be patient with him about not 100% consistency in pooing

on the potty each time. Max already regularly spoke to Haven in a

belittling manner on the occasion he spoke to his son, that's how

he did it.  And I spoke up for Haven and told Max not to talk to him

that way. I saw it, and realized the minimum amount of time that

Max must.  Max would become offended and tell me I was picking 

on him, so I gave him a personal example, and told him to record

himself and Haven hanging out, just being normal, and listen to it 

later, hear how he spoke to Haven, and what it sounded like from

outside of his head.  I told him I'd done that and I was mortified at

how I sounded sometimes. A few days later, the way Max had been speaking belittle-

like to Haven had toned down like 80-90% and it's stayed around 75%-ish as far as I've been exposed to it.

I'm really glad he listened to me on that one. 

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The times I wasn't there at night and Haven still wore a diaper, I was appalled to find that each and every

time I was there to wake Haven up, he had been forced to sleep in a urine-soaked diaper -saturated

with liquid from belly button to the small of his back.   Often, the diaper was also filled with feces. 

I don't have many pictures of this.  I was overwhelmingly upset every single time to find our intelligent,

sweetheart of a son left helpless in this inexcusable condition by his father, and if the thought crossed

my mind to pause in my urgency in removing all of the horrible evidence and getting Haven back into a

reasonably clean and comfortable condition again, I almost always dismissed it as being of minor

importance to what Haven had just been through.  I also struggled each and every time with controlling

a hellfire of rage that finding Haven this way formed in me - if felt like I could barely keep myself from

letting loose that justified anger on Max, but I knew it wouldn't be healthy for Haven to see that happen,

and what I was actively trying to do in that moment was get him into a healthier condition - so I would be

sabotaging my own efforts.  That doesn't mean I was able to completely control myself ever, and often

caught myself muttering curse or at the very least, heartfelt apologies to Haven for what he had experienced,

assuring him as b est as I could that he didn't deserve to be treated that way, ever, no matter what.

  That he was a good boy, and he deserved the best care and love in the whole world, I would tell him

how wonderful he was.  I'm not exaggerating.  I tried to talk to him about his goodness all the time,

his intelligence, his deserving of the very best.  I tried to regularly remind him of the amazing things about

him, tell him stories about how when I first knew how smart he was - he was only 2 days old when I knew.

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I've read this creep's mind - by his own confession, many times in

the past year and a half.  Which is kind of alarming, given the fact we

don't actually spend any time together, and are actually like hardly

ever even hear each other physically.  A couple times this year, I

actually felt physically-affected by bad news he received,

while we were completely physically separate.  And realizing this

makes it even more disturbing that I insist: this man is certifiably

insane, he's dangerous, he is living in an extremely slanted, 

delusional place that he made up, and he shouldn't be alone with 

Haven, he probably shouldn't interact with Haven until he has some serious counseling because I have a hunch that the second anyone's 

out of eye sight and ear shot that Max could be doing some slimy

sh*t. 

 

He does not give a f**k about Haven, ,and I only recently

learned that he actually enjoys causing Haven fear.  It entertains

him to see his

terrified.  Haven developed a lot of bath trauma issues overnight,

and one of them was the fact that he was absolutely terrified of the bathtub drain.  Suddenly, he would not go into the tub if the water

was on and there was no plug in the drain.  He would not be in the 

tub if it was full of water and I was going to drain a little of it.  He

would scream and flail about, grasp at me and try to pull himself

out of the tub if I started to take out the plug.  Max had decided

to tell him that he would be sucked down the drain, from what I can understand of it.  Probably told Haven a much more detailed story

than that, based on the way Haven reacted to it.  I only know Max

did this because I heard him talking to Haven about it, somehow 

he learned Max was lying and wasn't afraid anymore.  Max knew 

what he had done with Haven was wrong - told him a horror story 

and extended his fear of something false over a period of time so

he could secretly laugh at his son - that's why Max didn't talk to

Haven about it in front of me, and kept it a secret.

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Physical abuse of me

Max physically assaulted me while I was pregnant

with our son Haven,

he's physically assaulted me while he held Haven,

and while I held Haven - at least 1 time so extreme that

I genuinely feared that Haven would be hurt so bad

he'd break a bone,

acquire brain damage,

or even possibly die -

and he's physically attacked me with the intent to hurt me

in front of Haven, while neither of us held him.

An example that sticks with me:

After a weekend of graciously allowing me to watch our son

while his parents were out of town, 

Max attacked Me while I fed Haven
in the back of his dark tinted-windowed car.

The car was parked in an empty parking lot.

Max's face twisted into something horrific

Haven screamed when he saw his father's transformation

Max turned into a monster

Monstrous Max turned and lunged at me, where I gently held and fed Haven,

from the front seat of his car because

he "didn't even get a blowjob"

Haven's father violently attacked Haven & I

Max crushed little Haven into me

with his upper body so he could

wrap his sweaty hands around my throat and

grab sharply at my hair claw at my scalp

Haven was screaming and I was begging Max to stop

stop it Max please stop you're hurting Haven fucking stop 

It was hard to get out of the car

while holding a baby

and being attacked by a man, I was trying to get away from Max

because he wouldn't stop

I clutched red-faced, screaming Haven - not even 2 years old yet,

firmly to my core, telling Max to stop, to leave us alone

After I was out of the car, Max wouldn't stop 

He told me to get back in the car and I wouldn't

He began lunging at me and grabbing my hair, pushing me, 

trying to trip me if I moved anywhere, he kept jumping at me

He finally tripped me and I was falling - 

I was so afraid that

Haven would make impact on the concrete

I held him close and kept my core up and my legs under me 

Haven didn't get hurt on the pavement

I got up and was walk-running while holding him

Max chased me, he was chasing us, and Haven was screaming

and I was running from a crazy-looking man who 

kept grabbing at me and kicking at me and

trying to make me fall again

he was yelling and hissing at me

about what was I going to do if I got away from him

that I had nowhere to go with Haven

and he was right

we had no safe place to go

All these cars were driving by

dozens and dozens of cars, how many people went by and saw us?

35? 50? More?  No one stopped.

I've walked down the side of the road

in the summer in a normal dress and have had more cars stop

than the 0 number of cars that stopped when I was run/walking

and holding a screaming tiny baby diapered boy and being chased

and attacked by an angry, monster-faced man

we came to a gas station and the employee looked away

when I looked to them, making eye contact for just a split second

then they just looked away

Why didn't they call the police? 

I didn't have a phone. I didn't have anywhere to go. 

I had to leave Haven with Max that night and sleep

in a storage unit because Max's parents were coming home

and they couldn't know I'd stayed at their home and

taken care of my son while they were gone. 

That would have been unthinkable.   

Everyone sleeps better at night knowing

Max is alone with the baby.

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I have multiple police reports from calls I’ve made

to report Max assaulting me.  

A few months after our son was born in 2019,

police saw him assaulting me and arrested him for

DV assault and theft.

Max already had criminal DV history: a misdemeanor DV assault

charge, & another for a no-contact order violation.  

Despite this, I was denied a DV protection order

against him in late 2020. 

Max turned my petition for protection into a custody battle

he legally attacked me with falsities & began

a nationwide campaign slandering my name

while I requested protection from him

he asserted I wanted full legal & physical custody

so that I could get Section 8 rent assistance.  

His responses fighting against my protection order

admitted to & provided real evidence of

his violations to the no-contact order

in place after his arrest

for DV/theft against me.  

He also admitted to serious, brazen, & alarming violations

to the temporary no-contact order

in place during the weeks

leading up to a final hearing 

on my petition for protection.

There were 5 hearings held because of the

incredible effort that Max put into fighting

the entry of the protection order I asked for.  

History of sabotaging my opportunities for stability:

not helping me move into apartment I'd been offered a lease for,

then immediately kicked me out of parents house.

I had no other place to live. 

I'd only needed $500 more than what I already had to move into the apartment.

It wasn't easy for me to learn about the FUP voucher - a contract for rent payment through the State for povertous parents who are kept from

parenting their children due to lack of housing - but after determined

research efforts, I finally asked the correct person about it - and it was

handed to Max.

He still has it & has been scamming WA Housing Authority since then.

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Max is using our son to shamelessly collect welfare benefits;

failure to adequately provide Haven with food:

Max gets money from the State specifically to feed himself and our son.  

A look at his grocery purchases will show Max buys food for Max,

which he graciously shares with Haven.  

I somewhat recently saw a receipt that showed an available balance of

over $1,300 on Max’s EBT food stamps card. 

At the time, Haven had next to no food in the house.  

For around 7 months, I’d been using my cash and

any benefits I’d been able to receive for a single person

on groceries for Haven.

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Photo gallery of diet provided by me for Haven v. things provided for Haven by Max

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Max is a Criminal

Puzzling evasion of all criminal charges

Max has been arrested many times, but every charge brought

against him, except for a misdemeanor for DV assault in 2008,

has been dropped. Add link to this document

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I've seen the state of Washington/King County file DV assault, DV theft, fraud, and stolen property trafficking charges against him, only to have the matters dropped - by the filing party - just before going to trial, each time. Add links to these documents

 

Over $8,000 in unpaid court fines

At one point, I saw collection notices sent to him that politely requested he make payment on $6,000+ in court fines for one court, & $2,000+ in another.  

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King County scam for $20k

Add King County Eviction Prevention fraud summary information here also you can click these words to learn about how Max and his Boss scammed King County for approximately $20,000 in 2021 - 2022.

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