Today So Far + Chores

Haven and Max have disappeared again. Haven't seen or heard Haven for at least an hour now. I sent Max a text asking about where Haven is, but I have not received a response from him. Earlier, I heard him ask Haven at least 4 times in a 5-minute period of time (I think less time than that (maybe asked 4 times in 3.5 - 4 minutes), but am trying to be fair) if he wanted to go to his grandma and grandpa's house. I don't know why he always pushes Haven going there and it arouses no small amount of red flagginess in my inside of me. I would follow them, but I know how odd it would look to be discovered which I easily would be due to the near complete lack of cover and how easily recognizable I seem to be. Plus I'm fresh out of costume material for use as a disguise. Further, I have the feeling that whatever is going on, if it is (something super sketch) going on, it's happening after Max and Haven have made some kind of physical contact or attempted physical contact with the residence, that way no one has to lie about what is actually going on, or should I say, what is also going on. I get the feeling that Max regularly creates similar scenarios with religious regularity in his life, that way he can convincingly tell himself that he's not a liar or doing anything wrong, and therefore avoids a possible lame-o guilty feels time.

It's 1:57 and Max just texted to say Haven is with him at his moms.

When Haven woke up this morning, he called me into the bedroom: Mama! (Pronounced with a long 'Maaaaaw' and a much shorter, almost staccato 'muh'! I sing songed to him and he scooted back from me on the bed. Max lay there with his eyes closed. I told Haven about how I already had a bunch of snacks laid out for him for breakfast, I told him that the living room was clean and I'd set his tent up. He slowly said something like: let's go living room, so I can see? He knows the words to say, he has for a long long time! He was just still sleepy and hadn't spoken yet today, so forming the words seemed a little strug, but sounded adorable. I picked him up and shuffle foot danced him to the living room. I'd also cleared off his train table and redid the train tracks, same with the toys and blocks on the bookshelf under the TV. I took pics, I'll upload them.

Here:

I also swept the living room (but till need to mop) and the kitchen. I mopped the kitchen again. I cleared off all the things that Max dangerously piled on top of the stove burners. I wiped off the burner area of the glass flat top oven. I cleared off the upper counter in the kitchen. I made Haven's plethora of snacks pretty and attractively arranged on the bookshelf by the moldy window in the hall across from the kitchen, they included a thawed chocolate muffin I found in the freezer a few days ago (I'd put it there during one of the Great Muffin Wars and forgotten about it, raspberry preserve soaked wheat toast, butter-soaked wheat toast, butter-soaked bagel, and honey and butter soaked bagel half, blueberries, Concord grapes, freeze dried strawberry pouches, boxes of Sun Maid raisins still half in the plastic personal snack size packaging because of the waternauts or whatever they're called (color-able depictions of them contained in said plastic), kid-sized personal box of Frosted Flakes with Tony the Tiger on it, 2 ready to eat large brilliantly buttercup orange nuggets of mango, a white cheddar rice cake, green apple and red apples, a Bear snacks raspberry fruit roll, and mandarins in a juice cup single serve thang.

I cleaned Haven's pee potty bowl, then his puppy pee pad poo. Then I took another bag of trash to the landfill trash container outside. It is trash day, but our garbage had not been taken yet, so I put it in our designated black colored rectangular receptacle. I put a new trash bag in the container inside. I took the box of recyclables that had been hiding behind the trash can later this week out and put it on top of the recycling container.

I brought the trash can and the recycling container to the road last night, but was too afraid of imagined spiders to do anything with the big, lid-covered cardboard box of excess recyclables.

Then I went in the bedroom and began organizing and putting away my things o rid the room of that awful, smothering, cluttered, chaotic energy - for Haven to have a little more peace and comfort in his life, so he can feel more laid back. Every little bit helps, I think.

Then i unloaded the clean dishes fro the dishwasher. I loaded them and washed them last night. Then I loaded the dishwasher again.

Now I'm making homemade slow cooker soup chicken something or other.

There hasn't been TP all day. I just texted Max about it and getting Haven more milk. I'm gonna try and wash my hair. Try and type up the things I need to so I don't forget my life. On Havens behalf and hopefully for FF (Frankie Friend).

Max was either in bed or in the bathroom all morning. Hours in the bathroom, with no exaggeration. Silent as death, no exaggeration there, either. If only people knew how much of a sketchy, miserable creep he is...

I began reading Tolstoy's "Resurrection" today and the first page of it had me i tears because I felt like the words were echoing my own words back to me. And it was nice to be able to relate to someone else's words. And I mean completely relate - they resonated really strong with me.

I gave Haven a bath. We went to the park next door. I brought balls to throw at him.

Max never brought back milk for Haven. Or TP. Which makes me wonder, after all those hours he spent in the bathroom with no TP at any point, and I would have heard him use the wipes, which I keep on bookshelf and are audibly loud to access with their plastic baby waking noise-making packaging. So. He definitely wasn’t using the bathroom for its amenities unless there’s something gravely wrong with him. I wonder what he does in there and why. Because it doesn’t seem very much fun at all. He’s always miserable, whether he’s been in the bathroom or not.

Further evidence of his BS is the fact that he went out to do whatever late night activity he did (see below)

Max did take leave this evening, though; he left around 1130pm - 12am-ish PST. When I laid down with Haven around 245am, he hadn’t returned. He’d left Haven in the bed with metal Matchbox cars near his head and his body-he would have slept on them if I hadn’t removed them from the bed (for the 2nd time that evening). Also of note is Max didn’t say a word to me - directly or via Haven - about leaving. In fact he didn’t say any word to me whatsoever-completely ignored me. Just walked out and left-for the night, apparently, and without getting Haven the milk I asked him for about 12 hours prior to his solo departure.