To Max

I think that part of the reason you sneak away from Haven is because he often has a hard time with your departure, which in turn makes your departure take longer, and generally much more difficult for you than when you wait for a time when Haven isn’t looking and then scurry off as quickly and quietly as possible, without a word to anyone.

However, as you may have noticed, your abrupt, undiscussed disappearances from him only make his difficulty with your other, less frantic departures worse. In the past, I’ve tried to discuss your abandonment of Haven with you more than once. As far as I can tell, it’s completely unnecessary and voluntary on your part.

Please stop abandoning Haven without discussion with him, and myself, first. The fact that you habitually disappear does not make it easier for him. You hurt him deeply every time you do this. You compound the problem you’re scurrying from with each instance. You’ve been gone since before 8:30pm last night. You didn’t talk to Haven or I about leaving. You didn’t leave a note and haven’t sent me a text. It’s 3:30am and you still haven’t returned or communicated anything to me. Haven has been funeral-somber all evening. At first discovering your evacuation this evening, he kept asking if you were inside the apartment: “Daddy’s inside?” even though your Prius wasn’t outside.

If you feel a need to scared sneak-scurry-slither-worm away from Haven in the future, please at the very least call him and tell him why and tell him good night and that you care about him.

Ideally, stop neglecting responsibility and constantly turning your back to your son’s needs. Try to be an average person and spend an average amount of time with your son - not in front of the TV while it’s on, and not with your eyes glued to your phone while your body is frozen in your nightly screen zombie posture. He needs interaction from you. He acts upset because he is upset because he is not getting what he needs from one of the only people in his life. You’re the person he looks up to and wants to emulate more than anyone in the world.