September 6, 2021 Journal

Max showed up late in the day today. Not sure when, but no more than 2.5 hours after, it was 3pm. left Haven screaming After berating me. had a really positive weekend working on myself and home and Max arrived and made my stress reactors go crazy. First i was frozen in place after he and Haven left for park (of note: neighbor came outside when he heard Max) and door was closed. I literally was frozen as I stood. For a minute? More? then i went into kitchen and sat down i felt very stomach nauseated. I finally was able to move and washed my face and brushed my teeth . Almost ready to go and max bust in apt with haven, who started screaming daddy no daddy house daddy house and max wouldnt stop him and I couldn't take it and sat down and plugged ears and max started chewing me out blaming me for how "late" he was and telling me how unreliable i am for watching Haven and told me i was being selfish and "this" wasn't about me, it was about Haven.