Scaring Little Kids: Bath Drain

Haven developed a big fear of the bathtub drain - it happened overnight, like it wasn’t an issue, then it was. He was terrified of the idea of being in the bathtub while it was draining. He would jump up all slippery in a panic and blubbering about picking him up to get him out before draining the tub. Even if the bath was empty of water, he insisted on not being in the tub when the water was on unless the plug was in the drain so water couldn’t escape.

A few weeks ago I heard Max talking to Haven about it. He’d told Haven a story to scare him - to terrorize him- about getting sucked down the bathtub drain.

He found our son’s very real terror entertaining. I think it’s a very big deal he did this to Haven and clearly telling of his lack of empathy for him.

On top of all the other things.

Like continuing to leave Haven in his truck-I need to write about how he has been leaving Haven like this since Haven was an infant and how horribly distressing it’s been for Haven. That Max has continued this shady and coldly callous treatment is unbelievable to me, as its negative effects on Haven have been obvious.

Like leaving Haven in dirty diapers all night to the point of them leaking onto the bed around him. Now, he refuses to do anything with Haven’s potty chair. The times he has, he’s acted with extreme hostility-like he’s been wronged and it’s mine and Haven’s fault. He will leave shit on the floor for days, literally, and he’ll let the bowl fill until it flows over onto the floor. Then he’ll just throw paper towels over it and leave those on the floor until I remove them.

I’ve tried to hold my ground on not being the only one cleaning our son’s shit and piss >>especially when I’m sick or otherwise not immediately near the potty chair and able to monitor its fullness level<< but with Max’s extreme callousness to how disgusting it is to have fecal matter on the floor and very near where you are, it hasn’t been fair to Haven to let that game go on, and I just can’t handle the level of filth that Max can. I think if an adult that isn’t mentally disabled sees that pee is about to overflow onto the floor, or that there’s piles of poop on the floor, they definitely should do something about it. Especially if the pee and poop Is your child’s.

How he ignores Haven.