July 12, 2021 Journal

Haven is 2 years old and seems to have made personal goals of memorizing the alphabet, the names of colors, and numbers. He's doing amazing and repeats back what he's learning daily as he practices those things out loud.

Max seems clueless to Haven's self-motivated learning, or just doesnt care, bc I've never heard him acknowledge it to Haven and he hasn't mentioned it to me. He's actually never discussed Haven's education with me. He's never brought up Haven's future.

Max argued with me and refused to change the TV show when I called Max out on the inappropriateness of what he was indifferently doing, exposing our very young son, entirely unnecessarily, to programs intended for teenage to adult-age audiences, with countless "action" scenes and other stressful situations portrayed, along with unsavory, cruel characters, lots of incidences of multiple high pitched voices screaming in panic, in unbearable pain.

The shows Haven had just watched were pretty much 0 stress with gentle voices and bright, cheerful visuals. Very calm.

Then max sent me a long message about disrespecting him in "[his] house"

and threatened to once again destroy the relationship my son Haven and I have:

"This is the last time I say anything about it to you. You are so close to fucking this up for yourself, Haven and me. Your behavior needs to change or I will make the changes I feel are necessary. Your being here is not a given or guaranteed. You are here because I allow you to be. I'm not going to put up with your disrespect in my house. I don't have to. You can either adjust your attitude or not and live with the consequences. Know that if things don't change immediately, the reprecussions will be drastic and permanent. You've been warned, for the last time."

which we've been forced by Max and his family three times now to survive our love being killed and then heart breakingly slowly rebuilt as we had to learn each other again as the new persons we had unavoidably become

i didn't even do anything to him

Updated note 2/28/2022:

We have the freedom to expose our son to seemingly infinity things, "real" and unreal, televised and not. WHY subject him to such pointless damage??? NOTHING beneficial to the poisoning Max does to our son, while he sits there playing dumb-like he doesnt have a clue what he's doing. Max is incredibly lazy, selfish, and unbelievably callous and indifferent to Haven's reality, his

awareness and consciousness as a human. He's shown me nothing less in his treatment of me, of course. One would think a soft spot or some form of concern would have been adopted for his very own and only, paternity-test proven, free rent and meal ticket of a son. I've seen no sign of true affection from Max toward Haven or anyone yet, after 6(?) years. He still wont buy Haven groceries. He can have all he needs to feed Haven in a reasonable, healthy and easily accomplished way, but he consciously declines to, choosing instead to dump more goldfish crackers in a bowl next to cold little smokies.