Does Haven’s Dad Love Him? Evidentiary Observations *Prev. Titled: I'm a frayed of Beang Uff Raid

The detachment Max with regard to our son, Haven, has is still puzzling AF to me. It's changed - he's either begun enjoying the attention and affection (and also opposite of affection - Haven frequently turns unforgivingly physically violent towards his father) Haven gives him,

or he's been put in the position of pretending to have a relationship with Haven frequently enough (because of my mom calling CPS on Max and the dirty piss that Max submitted) that he's gotten kind of stuck in the role because of how easy it is, probably easier than having to ignore Haven all the time and listen to Haven's constant complaints of multiple volumes and expression.

I've been paying attention, watching closely, to see if Max's behavior is genuine or not.

I want it to be genuine.

I just don't trust it, and don't see how after 2 years Max suddenly loves his son.

After a period of observation, Max's behavior has glaring inconsistencies when compared rationally to the behavior of someone with genuine affection, love, care, concern, etc. for their child(ren):

1. Max still uses Haven against me, to Haven's detriment. Meaning, Max continues to behave as if he has no reason to believe that our son should have a relationship, especially not a happy healthy one, with his mother. I.e. Max abruptly taking Haven from my custody without discussion with him or I. and without letting us say goodbye. after Aggressively picking a fight with me and emotionally escalating it. It’s painfully heartbreaking for me to imagine how this affects Haven.

2. Max shows no concern or regret for his past abusive actions toward Haven, like leaving Haven alone when he was very young so often that it obviously traumatized Haven, etc. He's actually begun denying events and insisting that the lies he's told the court and CPS are true, even though I have ample evidence to the contrary. *that I’m a deranged drug addict, that I abandoned Haven, that my daughter was removed from my custody by CPS, that I expose and have exposed Haven to dangerous places and people, that I do not care to provide Haven with a safe clean place to be and have failed to do so in the past. In fact, nearly every thing Max has falsely accused me of getting is a thing that Max himself actually in truth has been doing. See pictures below as a brief evidence example. These are pictures Max took with his phone of places he has taken Haven of his own free will and with no necessity; there was no need to be there, Max just (apparently) wanted to be.

*I absolutely despise these pictures

and am physically nauseated right now at having to look closely enough at them to Locate them and post them.

I wish I didn’t have to spend my time doing this. I would very much like to spend any such documentation time documenting the fun or cute or weird or normal things that Haven and I experience together every day. This takes an enormous amount of my free time when I do it, and is physically draining. I get weak from the sick it makes me, not crazy fired up. It makes me ill.

Max avoided all physical contact with Haven for years, to include when “feeding.“ Ive seen Max leave Haven - smaller than he is in the picture below- with a bottle propped up and tilted into his mouth, Haven squirming from the constantly flow of liquid and his inability to stop it or get away. Max did this So that he could use both hands while Navigating his cell phone. In January, when I stole $2,000

from an ex so I could rent an airbnb for 2 weeks and see Haven again, when I fed him, Haven exhibited behavior that led me to reasonably believe Max regularly fed Haven in a similar or duplicate manner: Haven would tense his entire body, fists balled and toes curled, elbows and knees bent and taken into his core, as he hurriedly, painfully-seeming, gulped and panted his way through a bottle, downing it as fast as he could. feeding time is supposed to be a relaxing and bonding time. I slowly taught Haven to relax, that he wouldn’t choke and drown while I fed him.

1. Max still doesn't dress Haven appropriately for the weather. He shows no concern for Haven's physical wellness or empathy towards Haven's physical comfort. When I bring this to Maxs attention, he acts like a dementia patient in his puzzled cluelessness, like he had no idea that there could be anything right or wrong about dressing Haven in a snowsuit and buckling him into a car seat and then buckling the car seat into a car and then parking the car so the sun directly shines down on the car seat with Haven strapped into it and then leaving the car and locking it with Haven inside so Max can Go grab some things from the grocery store - it will be so much faster if Haven stays there - on a 75+ degree day.

2. Max doesn't care about Haven's discomfort relating to soiled diapers. Haven will fuss and fuss and Max will do nothing. Haven will scream and Max will feign ignorance of the shit he is forcing his son to sit in. Haven will reach inside his diaper and pull out terds and get poop on his hands and face and Max will continue to feign ignorance of it all (I literally saw this exact thing happen a few days ago) until Haven starts grabbing at Max's face. I remind Max many times a day after being forced to deal with the sounds of Haven's severe discomfort for extended periods of time only to find out he just needed his diaper changed, that usually when Haven acts that incredibly inconsolably fussy to Max, I've come to find that 90% of the time it's because he's begging Max for a clean diaper. Max gets frazzled every time I remind him, claiming he couldn't smell poop, claiming that Haven's diaper wasn't wet "a minute ago" when he (Max) checked it.

3. Max feeds Haven incredibly inappropriately, with no signs of concern about it. When I first started going there (again), the first week, all I saw them eat was take-out pizza. I've made a lengthy grocery shopping list, a long list of different breakfast things Max could prepare for Haven (some not requiring any cooking).

4. Max doesn't care about what Haven needs, obviously. He also doesn't care if Haven gets the exercise his body demands. I've asked Max what he is doing with Haven on a given day, if he's gotten Haven out of the house. Max will confirm, or say he's going to get him out of the house soon. When further interrogated, Max always revealed it was never an outing for Haven, it was Max going into a restaurant to pick up greasy take-out food while Haven sits in his ball-less car-truck alone, and/or Max going through a drive-up ATM and then returning home. Max never did anything just for /Haven, and NEVER anything that allowed Haven freedom for exercise. I made a detailed list of outings and activities Max could do with Haven to get Haven out of the house and somewhere that he can run around and get out his energy. The list gives specific activities they could do, or that Max could allow Haven to do, at different places not far from Leschi and in Seattle, that at the very least Max won't hate to be at.

5. Max doesn't show concern over Haven's frequently violent behavior directed at him. He told me he thought it was normal and blah blah "terrible twos." I've told Max repeatedly that "terrible two's" is a cop-out, that Haven is acting out over something, and maybe if Max thinks on it he could figure out what Haven's behaviors could be indicators of? I asked Max if he's talked to Haven's daycare provider about his behavior and Max said no, he has not. I asked him why he hasn't talked to the daycare provider about it, wouldn't it be helpful to know if he also acted that way at daycare to other kids, other adults, or if he just does it to Max? Is it something other kids at the daycare do, or is it something Haven is truly expressing on his own (as opposed to copycat behavior)?

Things that have changed:

1. Max doesn't bring Haven and the car seat into the house as one piece anymore. He finally is taking Haven out of the car seat and leaving the car seat in the car.

2. I haven't seen Max lose his temper at Haven. He tends to stay very detached and indifferent, even bored, when Haven begins one of his violent, anti-dad tantrums.

Max's mom wrote her life story in a yellow spiral college notebook for Max to read. It barely mentions Max and his brother, and they're nothing more than a mention. As always, her focus is on herself and on multiple different men and publicly sharing her level of desirability to them. Why weren't her sons expressed as a large part of her life? Well. Because obviously they weren't. And aren't. Max's mom's life story ended with her marriage to Carlos. -The End.-