I don't know what to think about anything anymore

Dreamed about playing volleyball ~as a kid~ last night. Came across this article this morning while looking for something about a gold box with flying naked babies on it

the dream was really a nice one because in it, I still was no good

in my head was the idea girls were supposed to enjoy volleyball Because it was easy for them, A feminine-friendly version of whatever the boys (behind us in the gym) were ready to play

i had no anxiety in dream - amazing, due to the subject matter

it was my turn and I did my volley serve or whatever

i didnt do good, but that didn't give me anxiety, either

i had a flash of wesley & johnny doing pullups and situps

i went up to gym teacher and matter of factlty announced (in a normal voice) that obviously i sucked at sports and wasnt getting any better. I proposed they allow me to continue with fitness activities instead while everyone else played sports games.

i dont recall receiving an answer, but that didnt give me anxiety, either

i had a calm confidence that my request was reasonable and wouldn't be denied. something like this would have been impossible due to my lack of confidence and independent thinking