Hi Help Pls

Hi I need someone to help prod me into doing what I want to do and need to do. The more important the thing I want-need to do is, the harder it is for me to do, and it feels like my body actually gets heavier and my joints more difficult to move. Like when you're running from bad guys in a dream or trying to fight someone, but all your muscle power is gone and you're weak and slow and heavy. That is what happens to me, but I think I'm awake, not asleep for what I need help with. I haven't had anyone as a friend or even acquaintance I can vent to for over 5 years now and have kept myself in near complete isolation from other persons and all media - I'm completely out of touch with the world. I am hoping that any kind of outside voice will greatly assist me in getting the motivation needed to power through the slow-mo, underwater retardation that happens to me when I am ready to take action on something important. Positive encouragement; negativity usually makes me more down and less motivated instead of fear-ing me into action - I'm already ALWAYS afraid. My entire life is a ball of more fear or less fear at every second of every day my god. So please. Can I tell you when I need help and maybe you can help talk me into real action - looking objectively at big picture - stepping outside myself seems to help but is very hard when the time for action is now - the panic makes me stuck. So maybe getting me outside of those intense feelings and looking at what I want and need to do more objectively could be a script style kind of conversation prompt thing. Funny things help me - making light of a situation - I'm always fear-heavy, so any lightness in a situation is usually welcome. As long as it's light and not super like makes me hate you because you said that.