Haven's Shoes

Max has historically shown a bit of insanity in his dressing of Haven. He constantly dresses Haven in clothes that aren't the correct size: both too small and too big of clothing; when there are clothing options for Haven that are his correct size with a comfortable fit, Max will often opt for the articles that don't correctly fit and/or are obviously uncomfortable to wear, and/or inappropriate for the weather. He won't bundle him up in the cold, he'll dress him in thick sweaters during the summer. When this pattern is brought to his attention by me, he acts absolutely empty-minded, brain-dead and helpless. Completely clueless to the fact that a thick, cable-knit collared sweater over a t-shirt with long pants, socks, and shoes may be a bit too warm for person to dress in 75+ degree weather.

A few days ago, he brought back a large white plastic bag of shoes and clothes for Haven, allegedly from his mom's house. All of the shoes aside from 1 pair were too small in size for Haven, and the clothing consisted of long sleeve shirts. The next day, Max tried to put a pair of the too-small shoes on Haven, despite the fact that there are over 4 pairs of shoes in the correct size for Haven in the place that they always are kept, as I regularly put them there after Max or Haven take them off of Haven's feet and toss them or let them lay where they are on the floor, leaving their future locate-ability up to fate. I asked Max why he was putting shoes on Haven that were too small (today, I noted they are size 7, and Haven currently wears size 9). Max held them to Haven's feet and they were the shape of Haven's feet, maybe a smidgen smaller - obviously too small on the inside for Haven's feet. He argued with me that they 'looked fine' to him and asked if I had sold them already and that was why I didn't want Haven to wear them. I told him I thought it was really irrational and maybe a bit insane to argue with me about forcing our son into generic-label shoes that are too small for him when he has outgrown them and new shoes have been bought since for a good reason. I put all the shoes too small in size for Haven aside and put the one pair that was the right size in with the other shoes in the place where they are regularly kept.

I noticed today that Max had snooped around again and located the too-small shoes. He took them all and put them in the place where the shoes Haven wear are kept. I just had to remove all of them and that's when I noted the sizes, almost all size 7. As noted above, Haven wears a size 9 comfortably. I did this because I saw a pair of shoes, too-small shoes, sitting up on the dresser where Max keeps Haven's clothes in the hallway. This was a signal to me that Max had taken them from the shoes storage location and brought them to Haven to put them on and make him wear them. They must have been much too small, as Max didn't force them on and left the shoes on top of the dresser. And that is what spurned me to write all this about Max's twisted, kind of demented weirdness in dressing Haven. The shorts too big, the shoes too small. Haven was put into a bright red, short sleeve, button up Hawaiian shirts - one of the cheesy ones - that looked a bit too big, the collar pushing up against his cheek bones, the sleeves huge around his arms- and looked uncomfortable at that, the fabric stiff and awkward, made for a costume, not for comfort.

A few days before that, Max left 2 pairs of toddler-sized shorts on the bench outside. They still had Goodwill tags on them. I picked them up and brought them inside to put with the dirty laundry. The shorts were labeled size 3T but obviously much too large for Haven's healthy but narrow waist size. Like, anyone who semi-regularly dressed Haven would notice that the shorts might be a little too big. Max dressed Haven in a pair of them today, and they were more than just loose around his waist, a portion of the elastic waist band was completely off of his body, just hanging out and away from his body, where they should have at least made contact.