Haven’s Dad Absent All Day

Yesterday, August 23, Haven went looking around the house for his dad after nightfall. His Dad wasn’t here.

Haven asked me: where daddy.

I told him I didn’t know; Max hadn’t told me when he was leaving or when he’d be back or where he was going. He never has, despite my requests and the reasonable reasoning for them that I provided.

Haven became very sad. His dad had left that morning after sleeping in for a few hours after Haven got up.

His dad might have gotten coffee that he brought in the bathroom with him. He spent 30 minutes or so - way less time than normal - in the bathroom. I didn’t hear him brush his teeth or anything. He left immediately after; spent no time with Haven that morning.

He came out of the bathroom and foggily told Haven he had to go, he had to bring back the equipment he had rented the day before right away, but that wouldn’t take long, not long at all, and then he’d be right back. He said he’d be back very soon.

-whenever Max says <<and this is really almost every single time, which is hard to believe, but it’s been hard for me to believe too, so I’ve kept close tabs and every time it’s been true, save a few scattered instances>> that he’ll be back soon, or that he’ll see Haven soon - the key word here is “soon” - it has ended up meaning he won’t be back soon at all, and that we might not even see him until the next day-

I asked Haven if he wanted to call his dad. He started to say no. Then he said yes. It was 8:41pm. I called on speakerphone and Max answered. Haven tried to hide from the phone. I told him no one could see him, but he still shyly grinned and darted about.

You talk, mama.

I told him I didn’t know what to say. Max said he was getting groceries and would be back soon . Could hear loud beeping of cash registers in background.

Max showed up over an hour later. It was after 10pm. Haven was in the bath. When he heard the door, his eyes got wide and he excitedly clambered out of the bath tub.

Is it daddy?!

thumps naked and wet and with a few small white bubble Patches on his gleaming skin into the hall and moves toward the front door

Daddy!!

mama, it’s daddy here!!!

Me: oh, that’s Greaaaaat

I laid down in the room with the lights on and fell asleep kinda fast, I guess.

I woke up with Haven’s head at my feet. I covered him better and went into living room after slowly preparing to move. There was chocolate cake and more raspberries and the stuff I’d had delivered from Safeway the day before:

Wheat berry or grain berry cereal - it’s like frosted shredded wheat, but organic- the box fronts go on about sun activated antioxidants, sorghum, onyx, and vitamin minerals. Plus it tastes good.

Red raspberries

3 pints of blueberries (?? Not sure why)

Orange sherbet

Raspberry sorbet

True Story sliced deli ham

Salami thin sliced Sargentos

100% pure cold pressed apple juice

White cheddar & slightly salted rice cakes

Snap peas

Fruit leathers

Personal sized Lays chips

Large personal cheese Itz crackers

6 or 7 or 8 red apples of various origin and strain

Honey mangoes

Pineapple

Organic navel oranges

Raw wildflower honey

Bleach

Haven bath stuff

6 pack freeze dried sTrawberries

Hair rubber bands

Triscuits

6 pack single serve Sunmaid raisins

4 pack butter

2 gold potatoes

Carrots with tops still attached

Peach, blueberry, vanilla & orange creamsicle yogurt

Cookies & cream (Oreo) dunked mini ice cream cones

Crystal Geyser Water

Authentic animal crackers in red box with circus ish animals on it

Bleach

Rockstars

99cent razors

I recently ordered Amazon Fresh for Haven as well: