Again

Said hed be gone 3 hours. Was gone 4. 11:30am - 3:30pm

Obvious he didnt work at all

came back with fresh hair cut (knew it was new because it was too short on top and his bald spot was standing out like never before in the outdoor daylight. Saw him in the outdoor day light when he left, and it didnt look like that.)

then he brought in a newly purchased framed art print from Goodwill. I know it was a trip he made today because last night he gave Haven toys from

his Goodwill trip yesterday. He would have brought in the picture sooner, probably with the toys he brought in, had he made the purchase any day other than today)

he also pulled up with a huge bag of Greek takeout. Only had food for himself. Asked Haven if he wanted fries.

gave me grief before he left: was yelling at me because i said it would take an hour more than he said yesterday (yesterday he said he would be gone 2 hours to do the same "thing" he did today [nothing]); why am I explaining myself to you?? I dont have to tell you shit! (I never asked him to explain himself).

last night he yelled at me again for the ____consecutive nught. I wad gone 2pm - 10pm to pay rent and after not spending any time at apartment in 3 or more weeks. told me he doesn't want me here. told me he never should have let me back into Havens life. <earlier that day he'd been arguing with me about me "disappearing" for months, tried to use that inarguably false bullshit against me again?!?!> that he should have

known better. That "this" isn't going to "go on much longer." That he could call the police and tell them to make me leave. That i cant disrespect him in his own "home" even though the only reason id said anything to him was beecause hed said and done something disrespectful to me. I was sitting on the floor with my head in my hands and he huffed up to right next to me: what the fuck are You doing , he said to me in a bitchy attitude voice and style. Max knew what i was doing. He had made me sick by harassing me about something and fucking with me. He wouldnt tell me where my things were; they werent wgere i left them at 2pm. Instead of telling me in response to any of the 5 or more times I politely asked, please tell me where my things are? Do you know where they are? instead he began to ask me instigating questions unrelated to my simple question about my personal belingings. Refused to give me any information. Actung very hostile. Made me sick.

Havens pupils got strange today when he was outsjde and i said i was foing to eun in really fast To grab something. Tess! no! He yelled. Tess!!! He's never been insecure about me grabbing things because i never leave him apone. When i asked him what was foung on, why he was so adamant i not leave him outside alone for a moment, his eyes lost focus from mine and his pupils got small and dark as he stared off at nothing, frozen stand still In front of his sandbox table. i have No idea what happened to him. It was very unsettling and concerning to say the least.

we went for a very long walk down Erie while he rode his push tricycle. Picked blackberries he stopped somewhere to put pebbles in the back compartment. Made him berry pancakes when we got back after picking up living room for him-it was trashed. Saw remnants of last night's "dinner" - more lil smokies in a plastic howl and traces of top ramen in a pot-max might have eaten all that. Max harassed me while i was tryjng to make haven dinner last night so i didnt get a chance to feed him before i passed out. When they came to bed max was trying to kick me out and telling me to get the fuck out and sleep on the couch. Haven started copying him and physically pushing me off the bed telling me to go, Tess! Go Tess! Max didnt try to stop him.

max just ignored haven who wanted to play with him. said he had to wash his hands first, then pretended to forget haven wanted to play. Haven wanted to play the new car track game i got him, then tried to get max to play with one of his new cars with him. Max was silent and turned on the tv. I hear haven trying to play with blocks alone. Im supposed to go look at a car but i will play with him instead.

Haven was fucked up when i returned and was duckednup this morning. Was onky bwtter after nap.